Being True.

Here's a quick last blog post for 2013, and it's on a subject that I've been thinking of and talking about to others for a long, long time.

In the media, there has been a lot of coverage in recent times about the Haas talks in Belfast, the possibility of some sort of 'truth commission', and how to deal with justice and the past in Northern Ireland.

Last year as we set out on the path to finding and capturing people's stories of the troubles, we were often asked about how inclusive it would be. For example, if we film an ex-RUC officer, will we also film an ex-republican prisoner?

The simple answer is yes - if they want to tell their story. Border Lives will not exclude anyone who wishes to tell us their story. It would be irresponsible and deceiving if we did. However, we are thoughtful about how to approach this. If we are not thoughtful and if we don't take care of the process then that's when controversy and hurt will undoubtedly arise.

For us, this project has always been about individuals - People - fellow human beings. It's not about politics, it's not about religion, it's not about justice. That may sound silly because it certainly touches on all of these things but they are never the main focus. We focus on experiences and emotions.

For an example, we filmed a man whose father was murdered by the IRA when he was just 11. Our focus in the interview was not to drag him through the emotions of that exact time, not to talk about who did it, not even to make him reconcile with his past or the IRA. That is not our place. In actual fact, he did talk a lot about forgiveness but we only asked him to describe how the loss of his father shaped his life going forward. How did growing up without his dad contribute to the man he is today? And it was inspiring to hear about his youth work and faith which sees him acting as a positive male role model to the young men he works with.

We also filmed a man who talked about the army presence near his home and how he disliked it, how he would defy them as a young boy. The focus of this was to hear about how he felt as a young boy from a tiny island on Lough Erne. The feeling of being cut off, trapped, having English soldiers to answer to. In this instance, we are not passing judgement on either him as a young boy, or the soldiers who were there. It is only about his experience and how he felt. It lead to his interest in politics and ultimately to community development and youth work in that rural area.

I suppose for me as a researcher, I am conscious that I am not a counsellor and I am not a judge. I am a listener. I hope that everyone who views the final films will watch and listen to these people and their very individual experiences with the same openness.

We have always explained to our participants that we will be as open and inclusive as possible, whilst respecting the current participants and ensuring we care for their well-being throughout.

We are not deciding who was right, who was wrong, who was a victim, who was a perpetrator - and why. We are documenting these stories as each individual sees themselves and their life. We are being as true to each person as we possibly can, and surely this is a better place to begin?

Looking back, and going forward

I was sitting at my desk catching up on social media updates, emails and admin when I glanced at my diary with the realisation that it was 1st of November. Wow. I have been working on the Border Lives project for over a year.

In a cliched way, time has flown by, but actually it's quite satisfying to look back and think about how much work has been done in the past year.

When I started on 29th October last year, I was still a blonde (am now a redhead), the project had a different name and was just some text on a funding application form. Conor (Project Manager) and myself were faced with the challenge of turning this name and the objectives into a project that not only met our targets but really achieved something.

I remember creating my work plan for the first 3 months and it being absurdly over ambitious so I quickly re-drafted it to something more realistic.

My approach was always to get out there and meet people. Yes I did book research, yes I researched online and yes I visited libraries but none of that even came close to the knowledge and experience I got from meeting and talking to people.

I've met with approximately 300 people so far, not only to tell them about our project and what we hope to do but to listen to their thoughts and advice, and answer their questions (if I could). This has been the key influence in shaping our project to what it is today. I can safely sit here and say that I am very proud of how Border Lives is turning out.

Of course, we have painstakingly procured for services such as our branding and logo design, our monitoring and evaluation framework, our website design and the video production. (Conor can testify to that!) We have held information events and put our steering committee into place. We have researched and drawn up our own code of conduct and good practice. We really have worked hard.

At times developing this project has felt overwhelming but that's only because we care about it, we take pride in the project and our input into it. We want it to be of the highest quality in every aspect.

And so, what of the next nine months?

There is still A LOT of work to be done but I'll keep doing what I'm doing.

I'll keep meeting people, keep researching, keep listening, keep thinking, keep caring.

After all, Border Lives is about the participants and the people from the border region. It is about you.

I'm confident that it's this approach that has made and will continue to make Border Lives a great project.

BBC NI Radio Interview 

Visit to Raphoe, County Donegal

Border Town Exhibition in Newry

Information Event

Filming in County Armagh

I thought I'd better update this blog on how our first full day of filming went.

Although we had filmed some bits and pieces in County Armagh over the 12th of July period, last week we completed our first sit down interview with David McMullen from CACD. (County Armagh Community Development)

I met with David many months ago during my researching and networking for the project. He and CACD were very warm, welcoming and open. Their attitude and interest in engaging with the project was exciting, particularly after being told many times that "you'll find it very difficult to get protestants to engage".

In fact, so far, I have found quite the opposite to be true.

When we held our information session in Newtownhamilton in April, we got a good turnout and several of them were very keen to tell their personal story and experiences.

And so the development of our first film began as more people from the area agreed to participate in our project. We decided over the summer that our first film would focus on the area of Newtownhamilton, Keady and Markethill.

Some of you might question our inclusion of Markethill because it isn't that close to the border. However, the stories in the film will answer any question over this choice as many participants are from the border but now live in Markethill (12 miles from the border).

Our first filmed interview was with David. He has been working in community development for years as well as continuing his work as a part time farmer. He is also a member of the Orange Order and lives close to the border. David is excellent at giving some context to the area and the feelings and issues that have affected and continue to affect the local protestant population there.

In the afternoon, we followed him to a successful community project in Aughnagurgan Orange Hall.

CACD was instrumental in starting up the 'Thursday club' project which tours between 3 rural orange hall venues. Each one formed a committee and they are now self sufficient, separate to the Orange Lodge. They apply for their own funding when necessary and have approximately 50 attendees each week.

We filmed the tea dance and interviewed some of the people there. It was really a lovely afternoon and fantastic to see such a turn out to an event in a very rural area. More so, fantastic to see the groups' ownership of the project.

I'd like to thank David, everyone at CACD and everyone we met in Aughnagurgan. It was a truly inspiring beginning to our interviews and filming.

Six films

Wow, the weeks keep flying by and I realise it's been three since I updated this blog. Today I've been thinking more about the areas that Border Lives will focus on. By areas, I mean geographical.

During my research, it sometimes felt like a huge task to narrow down the focus of the project to just six areas. I'll admit there are days that it still does. However, I feel like we are getting there gradually and almost like reading tea leaves, it is becoming clearer each week.

The main criteria in choosing areas for a film has been the interest and engagement from the people there. It was crucially important when I started this project that we approach it in a way that is sensitive. Therefore I spent many months meeting people and groups all along the border and beyond. (In fact I am still doing this so get in touch if you'd like to meet me!)

The fact that this project is covering such a wide geographical area, I wanted to ensure the involvement of existing organisations. I didn't want to be seen to be entering an area without going through the proper channels and learning from those who know a lot more than me about the people and areas where they have been dedicated to working in for many years.

In doing so, I not only learned an incredible amount about each area but it began to show me which areas were more willing and more interested in engaging with a project such as this.

The first film that we are beginning to film and develop will be based in the areas of Markethill, Newtownhamilton and Keady. This takes in Darkley and Tullyvallen as well. The focus of this film will most likely be the Protestant experience on the border.

The reason we have chosen to do this is because we made a strong link with County Armagh Community Development who work closely with Orange Halls and the Protestant community there. I met with some of the members several months ago. They made me feel so welcome and really understood what we were trying to achieve with Border Lives. They told me stories then and we continue to hear stories each time we meet with them. It's a pleasure to speak with the people there, hear what they have to say and see the positive community work that they are all doing there.

We are still discussing the focus of the other films but we can see areas such as:

- Forkhill/Crossmaglen 

- Clones/Roslea

- Belleek/Garrison/Rossinver 

- Clady/Lifford/Strabane 

all featuring.

As we begin to film this month, I will also be planning some information evenings and trying to partner with groups along the border for this. I have some funding available to organise them and would love to hear from any groups that might like to host us for an evening.

I can be contacted at s.bryden@tyronedonegalpartnership.org or call +44(0)28 8225 2112.

Day of Reflection

Today has been dedicated as a 'Day of Reflection' by Healing Through Remembering.

"The Day of Reflection is a Day to reflect on our own attitudes, on what more we might have done or might still do, to acknowledge the deep hurt and pain caused by the conflict in and about Northern Ireland, and to make a personal commitment that such loss should never be allowed to happen again."

In that spirit I thought that I would reflect on some of my own personal attitudes and experiences.

I turned 30 years old earlier this year. Half of that time was lived during 'the troubles', the latter half has been lived in what we call peaceful times. However, in my opinion, these years have still been 'troubled'. I say this because I am from Omagh.

I was 15 when a bomb tore through the buildings and people of my town. I still get emotional when I think about it.

I had just returned from Atlanta, Georgia in the US a few weeks before. I had participated on the Ulster Project which sees 6 protestant and 6 catholic teens form a group and stay with host families of other backgrounds in America for four weeks. The concept was to promote peace and better understanding in young people on more neutral ground. At that point, it had been the best thing I'd ever done in my life. I had come home to Omagh having made new friends for life, a new perspective on life, hopeful for the future. Less than three weeks later, everything changed.

I remember that day like it was yesterday and I vividly remember the excruciating and emotional days after. My dad was called in to implement the towns emergency plan. I didn't see him for days except once he came home for a few hours sleep. He didn't look like himself. He later told me some of his experiences so I now know why.

Some of my other memories of the aftermath include watching the news reports and having the surreal feeling of seeing your town, yet feeling some sort of disconnect from it, like my eyes were lying to me. 

I remember the funerals, the weeks and weeks of funerals. The injuries, seeing so many people with cuts, bruises, on crutches, all patched up physically. Thinking that not enough patches, stitches or casts in the world would help mend the psychological and emotional damage.

I remember going back to school two weeks later and it being so sombre.

I remember those who died and their families.

I reflect on that time and I look at Omagh now- how it has been rebuilt, how the people supported each other and how it is strong. The scars will always be there but I am proud of the strength of the people and the town.

In 2011, Ronan Kerr, a young catholic PSNI officer from Omagh was murdered outside his home. The town hit the media headlines again. Everyone came together and took to the streets marching for peace. "Not in my Name" was the message. The people of Omagh and beyond wanted the world to know that we want a future living in peace together.

My Day of Reflection is to acknowledge the deep pain that so many have suffered, to be open and compassionate to all, and to be hopeful that the future generations can try to understand the past and work together for a peaceful future.

This is just a small part of my story and memory of the conflict here in Northern Ireland. Through the Border Lives project I am learning so much more about what happened to others. I am thankful to anyone who shares their experience because hearing, reading or watching personal stories can only help us all to empathise, to understand, to share, and to learn.